Twilight Stargazing

[Hawk]

Having an apartment alone was nice at times. It gave Pheia the freedom to do as he pleased, free from scrutiny. No judgments could be made by empty rooms, and worry couldn’t be forced upon him by kitchen cabinets and window shades. But other times the enclosed space was just too stifling to bear. Too much silence. Always the same old, same old. It was all too familiar, and sometimes he just needed a change of space.

He had decided the best alternate space would be the roof. No walls, open space, and cold enough to give him most, if not all, of it to himself. Grabbing his jacket and hoping his gloves were in the pockets, he had made a beeline for the stairwell, walking up the couple flights to the roof exit.

Giving the knob to the roof an experimental turn, he was met with no resistance: a good sign. Meant they didn’t keep it locked up, which was always a possibility in places like this. One more turn and a push and he was met with cold air. Success.

From a cursory glance of the space, Pheia assumed that it was a summer recreation space. There were a couple tables with chairs stacked on top of them, and some lounge chairs laid flat along the side of the space. A fence surrounded the edges, probably to hold in the basketballs that would match up with the hoop mounted on one side.

As he made his way over to said fence, he dug hands into his pockets, looking for his elusive gloves. His tail wrapped tightly against his side as he fished around for the needed coverings. Only one hand exited a pocket successful, making him scowl down at the lone glove momentarily. Then he pulled it on, and stuffed the other hand back in his pocket for warmth.

Fingers of the gloved hand threaded through the square holes formed by the wires as Pheia looked out across the twilit skyline. Ears bobbed slightly as a car alarm went off down the block, but it was otherwise peaceful. The view was simple, but nice. Letting out a visible puff of air, he turned back around, sinking to sit on the ground and resting his back against the short concrete wall the fence rose out of.

Humming a quiet little bittersweet tune, he turned his gaze upward. If anything, he could at least spending some time looking up at the starry sky. It beat out staring up at a stucco ceiling anyday.

[isis]

It felt good to be here, and the tiger hybrid anthro got a little tired of living in the streets, fighting to survive. She needed to find a place to stay, for her daughter's sake, and it would be nice too. A nice warm bed with a shower...she hadn't bathed fully in quite some time. She was just able to find water to clean herself with and that was it. An apartment would be nice. But alas, she had no money or job, so it was impossible for anyone to give her an apartment unless there was a special exception of some sort. But it didn't matter, it seemed like there was no hope for her.

She went inside the local apartments and headed up the stairs, onto the rooftop. She saw some lounge chairs she could sit in, along with a table. Her daughter was holding her hand, looking up towards her. Her purple eyes immediately shifted to a green color, a sign of curiosity.

"Mama, where are we?" she asked her mother.

The golden tigress looked down at her daughter and picked her up. "Sweetie, we're on an apartment rooftop. Look up." Both of them looked up at the starry sky as the daughter stared in awe.

"They're so pretty, Mama! Just like any night."

Her mother smiled. "Yes, dear. It is. I always look up at the stars as a sign of hope. And I really hope we can find a nice home or somewhere to stay in."

She nuzzled her dark-furred daughter as they both looked up at the stars, almost ignoring any type of distraction. It would be nice if opportunity knocked before them.

[Hawk]

_{[[Sorry issa little long. Just wanted to let you see what my charrie's thinking, so you aren't offended as much by his rather odd response. >.>;;]]}

Pheia's distracted humming cut off abruptly when he heard the slight squeak of the doorhinge. Ears swivelling towards the noise, he went completely still. He honestly hadn't expected to meet anyone else up here. It was cold outside. Frozen, really. This was the season for indoor pools and pool in the lounge and maybe going out on the town, only to return and dethaw in your own apartment. Not the time for being on the roof, with its stacked furniture and cold winds and...emptiness.

But, apparently he was wrong, as he heard muffled voices from the hallway. Within a few more seconds, their source came into view, and Pheia became impossibly more still. For one, the strangers' appearance was fairly alarming, a cacophony of mismatched wings and animalistic features. He'd always thought his ears and tail, the red of his eyes, were more-or-less as odd as they came. He also had never seen them in the building before, of that he was sure. And his ideal place to meet strangers was definitely not a place with only one door to leave from.

But, more than anything else, the sight of a child at the grown woman's side was what put him on edge. He never went anywhere near children, was frightened by the idea. They were fragile, so easily influenced by others. The littlest things could hurt or bend or break them. He knew that much too well. And someone as bent as him had no place around them, could do serious damage accidentally. He didn't know how he could, but he feared it nonetheless. He didn't want to make someone grow up how he himself was now. One of him was more than enough for the world to handle. That, and he would never, ever forgive himself.

He watched, allowing himself no movement of any sort, as the pair moved farther onto the roof, as the little girl looked up at the stars like he had been only a minute earlier. He could hear their conversation as plain as day, the small child's openly curious question and the woman's response. Her mother, Pheia corrected, heart twinging slightly in familiar pain as the mother lifted her daughter lovingly, imparted her thoughts on stars to the girl. Stars as a sign of hope, she said. He never thought of them like that. Pretty, sure. A nice distraction, something to look at. But he didn't see hope in objects, in things like the night sky. Didn't see hope in much of anything. Maybe people, certain people, but definitely not in inanimates.

The thought ran across his mind that he could add that to the list of why he couldn't allow himself near children. Adults were supposed to impart dreams and hopes. All he had was false passiveness and confusion. Some sadness, maybe. A bit of softened bitterness.

He was surprised to find how sad he felt when he heard they had no home. Wasn't life just unfair like that? Loving parent gets nowhere to raise her child, while failures at parenting all over the world had huge homes, filled with empty rooms that did nothing to help their children be happy. Not just empty. Lonely. It reminded him of too much, was too familiar. Maybe the two, home or no, were the lucky ones after all. Least they always had each other to fall back on...

No longer in the mood to stare up at the bland night sky, and itching to be away from the strangers, Pheia edged to his feet, silently walked along the fence, trying to keep out of the woman's field of vision. After a number of cacreful steps, he successfully reached the door, wrapped the fingers of his one gloved hand on the handle to pull it open.

And was surprised to find it wouldn't budge. A couple more tugs with no success, and it effectively sunk in: the door was locked one way. People could get to the roof, but couldn't get off. What kind of place did that? "Damnit..." he muttered, only to realized afterwards that the two he had been trying to escape would definitely hear it. But, having nowhere he could go now, he simply stood where he was, waiting to see what they would do now that their company had been revealed.

[isis]

[ Oh, that's okay. I don't mind. =) It inspires me, no big deal. ]

No matter how rough things would get, the tigress mother would make sure that everything is great for herself and her precious daughter. She always had hope when seeing the stars and even more calm when the moon is out. Everything was very quiet. The mother looked down to see someone across, by the fence. She smiled, for it would be a good time to be in a peaceful state. She noticed him leaving but ignored it. Her ears immediately twitched when she heard him swear. She turned to face the other; her daughter did the same.

It's been a while since she ever socialized with anybody other than her half-brother. And she wasn't even in the right position to speak with others. She hadn't bathed in some time except for the spraying from the hose about a few days back. Nevertheless, she shouldn't let that get in the way of perhaps making a friend of sorts. Maybe he could help her find a place to live...if he was friendly that is.

The mother was always uneasy towards strangers. But then again, who isn't? She is a mother and she only hoped that something bad does not happen to her daughter. That's why she didn't want to stay with her half-brother. Because Hell was no place for a little innocent girl. No way.

She had hoped this stranger was nicer, but she thought twice. Maybe he wanted to leave because the two disrupted his solitary privacy. The tigress meant no harm in causing any trouble to this guy. She sighed and looked down as her eyes shifted to a duller color than usual. She looked up and tried to snap out of the depression. Her eyes reverted to her odd combination of blue and purple. She needed not to give up, but to give this a shot. Better than doing nothing at all, right?

"...Is something wrong?" She said gently and with concern. The daughter looked up at her, eyes shifting to a green color and back to her natural golden brown hue. She really had much to think about this guy. She continued to look up at the stars. All she thought to herself was: Please, help me and Mommy find a home...a place to call home...please?

[Hawk]

The concerned question confirmed what Pheia knew, but hadn't wanted to aknowledge: of course, they'd noticed him. Ears flattening against his head slowly, he turned around, but refused to make eye contact. "It... The door..." Growling at himself quietly for his idiotic stuttering, he managed to string together, "The door's locked."

Which was just perfect, he added internally. Perfect, perfect, perfect... Tail jerking back and forth erratically in direct connection to his scattered and annoyed thoughts, he subtly tugged on the handle once more. Maybe he'd just made a mistake. He'd pull, and it would miraculously open like a damn door should, and he'd be able to leave.

But, no such luck.

He released the handle with great reluctance, standing awkwardly in silence for a moment. What was he supposed to say to the pair? 'Hello, I'm dysfunctional and would like nothing more than to be away from the two of you'? Even he knew that would be wrong and unfair. And wouldn't get him anywhere, especially not off the top of the building. His envy or fear or whatever the hell emotion was screaming for an out wasn't their fault.

So, he sank to the ground, leaning against the brick right next to the door. Muttered out a, "...Sorry." He hadn't meant to swear around a kid, forgot she could probably hear. Another reason to add to his list.

[isis]

The mother looked at him with not a sad expression, but not emotionless. More of like an understanding of some sort. She probably knew all well that he didn't appreciate their unexpecting company. He was here to be left alone, and there was nothing she could do, now that the door's locked. She could fly away and leave him alone, but what about him? The guy would need to get back to his room, somehow, if he lived here. She really wanted to help make sure everything is alright, but is just a force of habit with her. She looked down once again as her eyes shifted to duller colors. Her daughter looked at her and then back at the guy and back at her mother. "Momma...?"

All the mother can really say was nothing more than an apology to him. And herself. She held her daughter close, almost ready to cry, but this was something that came down her path many times before. So she held it all in.

It wasn't uncommon for the mother to be depressed so easily. She usually gets that feeling every now and then. But it all went away when her mate was around. But now that he's gone...it's quite easily that she will blame herself for any reason whatsoever.

"I should be the one apologizing," she said almost with apathy. She looked back up at him. "I should be the one to go, not you. Sorry if I disturbed you." She almost flew off, but she awaited a response from him to see what he says.

[Hawk]

The blank inflection the woman used in her response was something that Pheia was painfully familiar with. Her voice seemed empty and uncaring, but he knew it was an emptiness secretly filled with something else. Whether it was anger or sadness, or anything else, there was some part of him that didn’t like to be the one causing something like that. Not to this woman, not on this rooftop. And especially not in front of a kid.

Before he could think twice about it, quiet words escaped from his lips. “Y-you don’t have to.” Frown deepening at the resurgence of stuttering, he lifted the hood of his jacket, shielding his face from view. “It’s a public roof and all. Locked door doesn’t suddenly make it single-occupancy only.” He tried for a sarcastic tone, but could tell as the words came out of his mouth that he hadn’t succeeded, voice too quiet and monotonous.

Pheia knew that he should do something to make conversation, was familiar with the concept of breaking the ice from work at former jobs. But, this wasn’t some drunkard he could throw a flirty line to and then escape down the bar. He was trapped with the same company here, and the kid… He couldn’t get past the little girl. He couldn’t talk to children. He just…couldn’t.

So, he chose to stare down at the ground silently instead, picking at the threads of the one black glove he had on to keep himself occupied. If talking was going to be forced upon him, it would have to be pushed for by the strangers. Otherwise, they would just end up sitting silently, and Pheia wasn’t about to complain if they did.

[isis]

"I...I see."

The tigress looked back, feeling a little better, but there was something telling her that she shouldn't be here. But with her little girl closeby, it made everything feel better because there was no need to be sad because she had her daughter to keep her happy and optimistic. She wished the father was here, but she knows that he is watching over both of them, in spirit. But she longed for him so bad...she couldn't do this all alone. But she had to. She is now responsible for not only her own future, but her daughter's.

There was nothing more that the young adult could do, except try and talk to this guy and build up a conversation, to see if he could help find a place to stay. But she was too nervous in talking with others, but she really needed to get out and do something. She wasn't going to sit around and let time pass by her and her daughter. She patted the small one's head and smiled, and then back to the other.

"Hm...mind if I ask who you are? Since...we might be up here a while...and...yeah..." She was really trying, she really was. It was a start; hopefully everything will be okay and rough edges will smooth out.

The daughter just looked around the night sky and enjoyed the pretty white dots glowing. She reached out to try and touch one, but all she got was air. She continued to paw at the air, hoping to get a star, but again, nothing. She looked at her mother and then to the man she was talking to.

[Hawk]

He took a chance at glancing up when she asked who he was. But, when he realized he was pinned by not just the woman’s gaze, but also the little girl’s, he couldn’t drop his gaze back down fast enough. “Pheia.” He pulled at his collar, trying to make his jacket swallow him in even more. “…I’m Pheia.”

He wished he had learned how to pick locks. That was the thought that kept running across his mind. He’d probably slept with someone that could’ve taught him, had he bothered to ask. That’s how he’d gotten into bartending business, how he’d picked up other tricks and talents. But, of course, the one he didn’t have was the one he needed. Always went that way…

The corners of Pheia’s lips dropped farther at the thoughts, expression slowly becoming more closed-off and unexpressive. Really, he didn’t need to bring his mind to a darker place than it had already been carried by the family in front of him. Why the hell couldn’t he just move forward like a normal adult, not dwell on the past all the fucking time?

Hand tightening on the glove in his grip, he forced out a question of his own. “And your name?” It came out sounding harsher than he’d wanted, but there was nothing he could do about it after the fact except wait for the answer. That, and stay hidden in his hood, its own little haven that kept what he could only guess was a rather alarmingly blank face from the other two.

[isis]

The female looked up and noticed he was trying to stay hidden from the two. She wondered if it was something she did. The tigress always dwelled upon the facts that she was indeed a burden and she should suffer as such. She shook off those thoughts and kept it to herself. She didn't want the one called Pheia to notice.

When he asked for her name, her ears drooped. As her eyes shifted to a grey color once again, the tigress had to wonder if she was to exist. She was never meant to be here in the first place, on this world. She was a genetic experiment, nothing more. A cross between an angel and a demon and her only purpose was to be tested. She was alive against fate.

Once again, she shook off those thoughts, but her eyes remained grey. She couldn't really get rid of such negativity. If only her husband was here...he was the only reason she held on to her life and now that he's gone what was her purpose now? To raise her daughter simply and that was all. She looked up to Pheia and responded.

"...I'm Isis."

Isis looked down at her daughter as she looked back up. She nodded as the small one looked up at Pheia as well. "I'm Vanessa!" She said rather innocently and proudly. She grinned and stuck her arm in the air as her fingers made out the peace sign.